HumanEventz

Anne Coulter Denies Obama a Muslim-Does Anyone Care?

Jvally — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 17:15:47 +0000

Anne Coulter has finally taken up the challenge and for once and for all conservative pundits, declared that that President Obama is not a Muslim. In fact she says, he is obviously an atheist. This apparently, is meant to be some sort of attack, though I personally can’t image a person better suited to protecting religious freedoms than an atheist-There’s no possible conflict of interested between one deity and another.

Besides, as far as the presidency goes, it doesn’t matter. Check out Article IV, paragraph 3 of the United States Constitution:

“The Senators and Representatives before mentioned, and the Members of the several State Legislatures, and all executive and judicial Officers, both of the United States and of the several States, shall be bound by Oath or Affirmation, to support this Constitution; but no religious test shall ever be required as a qualification to any office or public trust under the United States.”

Anne doesn’t let a little thing like the Constitution get in her way. She presses her attack anyway:

“…according to North Korean TV’s Chris Matthews*, it is a provable, scientific fact that Obama is a Christian because he says so. “Everybody watching right now,” Matthews said to his several viewers last week, “gets credit for being of the religion you say you are. … We accept that in America. It’s called freedom of religion and respect for religion.”

That would make professions of religious belief, unlike all other self-professions, unchallengeable. Liberals say conservatives don’t believe in civil rights. I say liberals are godless traitors. Why is one statement debatable and the other not?”

Well, personally, I agree with you Anne: I think both of your above statements are debatable. It think there’s ample evidence to support the first, little evidence to support the idea of liberals being traitors and a big fat meaningless void surrounding the godless part. Part of the reason we avoid critiquing professions of belief is the same as the reason we avoid critiquing religion in general, and that is to avoid that uncomfortable moment when the religious find they have zero evidence for supporting their beliefs. Faiths don’t deal in evidence, that’s why they’re called faith. If you want to call off that social truce Anne, if you want to call it open season on professions of faith and forms of faith, then so be it. But I don’t think your prepared to handle a rational critique of your beliefs. That is, if you actually have any.

*North Korean Television’s Chris Matthews? I have often wondered about Anne, how she likes to randomly associated her foes with truly nasty folks and whether it’s a typographic twitch left over from her adolescence, or just a way to pander to her audience.

Fun with Human Events Comments

Jvally — Tue, 10 Aug 2010 21:55:54 +0000

Here is an article from the Guns and Patriots newsletter that is actually pretty interesting. It describes how to make an activated charcoal filter for purifying water in the event of a disaster. It’s probably something liberal residents of cities like San Francisco and L.A.-who generally ignore survivalist wack-jobs-should at least consider learning how to do.

In any case, here are a few fun comments from the comments section:

Knock off the “grams” and “kilo-hoozies!” I am an American! I don’t do that Euro – Franco, metric crap! Say it in English!
-Mike Smith, Chase City, Virginia

Yes Mike, because we wouldn’t want to ask that your sclerotic and tangled old brain be forced to learning anything new, now would we? That’s downright un-American….

I am with Mike Smith. I am 63 years old, back when i was in school we learned 1/4″, 1/2″, 3/4″, 1″ and up. No Metric Learned.
-Al, Louisiana

Fair enough Al. Here’s your first lesson, gratis (that means “free”). Count to ten on your fingers. That’s it.

Inchoate Musing of a Conservative Pseudo-Intellectual

Jvally — Tue, 10 Aug 2010 21:43:50 +0000

In this column, Susan Dale attempts to draw a parallel between the democratically elected president of the United States and King Louis the XVI, Bourbon monarch of France. Her claims is that the Monarchy over-taxed the poor and middle class, while leaving the upper-crust untouched:

“The tax burden, therefore, depended on the peasants, wage-earners, and the professional and business classes; (these hapless characters known as ‘workers’ in Obama’s America), and these taxpayers did not include any member of the royalty, the nobility, nor of the church. “

Never mind that the administration has proposed repealing the Bush era tax breaks for the very wealthiest of Americans (i.e. the “Nobles”, not the working class). Never mind that as a middle class “worker”, I got the largest tax refund of my life this past spring. Yes, I see, the parallels are stunning.

No matter. Dale doesn’t care about facts. To her, Democrats,

“…do not care about the consent of the governed; they do not care about the will of the people; they do not care about the Constitution; they do not care about the approaching destruction of the United States of America. It is, actually, their goal.”

All because they defeated Dale’s party of choice in a free and democratic election in 2008, leftists are intent on destroying America.* Hell, to hear Dale speak, you’d think Obama stole the election or something.

Great research on the Bourbon dynasty, but if this is what passes for serious political thought amongst the “conservative underground”, I’m not putting any money of their “movement” getting very far.

*Though, I guess if your definition of “America” is a theocracy rules by rich white people, paid for by the taxes levied on poor brown people and dedicated to thwarting every possible social and scientific advance, then yes: leftists are out to destroy your America.

Mosque at Ground Zero

Jvally — Wed, 04 Aug 2010 21:51:06 +0000

A few thoughts on this Mosque thing. First, it’s not a Mosque. It’s a multi-use building that may contain a mosque. Before you flip out and call that a case of semantic gymnastics, let me ask you this: Are all Catholic hospitals also Cathedrals? Yes or no? Thought so.

Secondly, the folks behind this cultural center are moderate Muslims that have condemned the actions of extremists. Yes, that’s right, the same moderate Muslims conservatives claim don’t exist or that are always silent when a Jihadi scumfuck blows himself and others to oblivion. There are indeed moderate muslim voices, you just don’t hear about them from Human Events or Fox News.

Third, given that this is a moderate Muslim group, you can think of this building as the equivalent of the NRA hosting a rally in Columbine Colorado after the shootings there in 1999. It certainly rankled many liberals (Lord Douche-bag Michael Moore chief amongst them), but the NRA’s message was a positive one: responsible gun owning citizens decry what happened and hope to empower citizens to respond to such crisis. If you didn’t oppose the NRA in Colorado, why would you oppose this cultural center in New York? Oh right. Your God is the true one and Allah is a fiction.

Personally, I wish all Churches, Synagogues and Mosques would disappear from the United States forever. We’d all be better off without them. In lieu of such a wonderful Utopia, I’ll settle for freedom of religion and giving people a chance to redeem their faiths from the actions of a few extremely deranged scumfucks.

Conservative Will Believe Anything, Just Mention Guns

Jvally — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 23:48:53 +0000

One of the things that drives me crazy about hippies is that they will believe just about anything, so long as it is presented as being an alternative to “western medicine” and the powers that be. I remember one guy trying to tell me that by touching this quartz crystal that he had “charged”, he was removing the aluminum that had accumulated in my brain and would later give me Alzheimer’s. Never mind the various conservation laws violated in this little bit of teleportation (or the fact that I may not have any aluminum in my brain at all), it wasn’t a pill from big pharma, so it had to be good*. He then proceeded to hand out DHEA supplements to a number of females of child bearing age, a dangerous thing to do given that DHEA is a steroid hormone that is converted to both estrogen and testosterone in the body and can cause young women to stop menstruating. It can also cause the growth of excess body hair, but this guy didn’t care, he liked hairy women and anything that real doctors said he shouldn’t use because it was dangerous. Such MD’s you see, were part of the “cover up.”

You couldn’t find a group less similar in appearance or lifestyle** to hippies than the conservatives of Guns&Patriots, but they share common ground in oppositional reasoning. Conservatives obsessed with the guns will believe anything you tell them, so long as it involves someone coming to take their guns away.

Take this new column by Jennifer Kendall, entitled Understanding the United Nations and US Gun Control. This article discusses the potential United Nations Small Arms and Light Weapons (SALW) treaty, a treaty that has not even been drafted. The main idea behind such a treaty, were it to be drawn up, would be to require all arms manufactures to create a sort of “watermark” with a serial number, on all new small arms that are manufactured. The reasoning behind this is to help stem the flow of illegally manufactured weapons into the hands of powerful drug cartels and terrorist groups such as Al Qaida, Hezbollah in Lebanon and Al Shabaab in Somalia. This way, it would be easy for governments to quickly seize international shipments of weapons that did not have the appropriate markings.

Now, whether or not creating a unique marking on new weapons would actually lead to better control of the illegal arms market is up for debate (exactly how difficult would it be to counterfeit this things anyway?), but conservatives are not worried about it’s effectiveness in fighting terror. In fact, they believe it’s true target is American citizens and their pistols, rifles and shotguns.

“The U.N. program of action concerning SALW includes restrictions on the manufacturing, storing, transferring and possession of firearms and ammunition if it is not adequately marked. It ensures that once SALW’s program is enacted all licensed manufacturers must apply a unique marking identifying the country of manufacture, manufacturer and serial number of the weapon. Weapons that lack this unique marking that are confiscated, seized or collected will be destroyed. These restrictions will be enforced on a national, regional and global scale.

“Once the treaty is signed, if you happen to own a gun that was manufactured without this ‘unique marking,’ you are in violation of the law and must turn over your weapon to authorities. This includes guns that were obtained legally. With gun laws in the U.S. that already place many restrictions on the sale of personal firearms, the adoption of this treaty would further infringe on the Second Amendment of the Constitution. When the founding fathers of the U.S wrote that, ‘A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed,’ they made no mention of unique markings.

Yes, the U.N and the men in the black helicopters are coming for your guns! Get ready to fight from the bed to the closet! Really, you would think that since they hate the democratically elected government so much, that these folks would be itching for a gun confiscation raid so that they could over throw their African overlord.

In any case, there is no “treaty” yet and owning a currently legal firearm would never make you subject to seizures under such a treaty. There’s two reasons for this. The first is that there is a constitutional prohibition against congress passing ex post facto laws that would surely hold up in court. That is, barring a change to the 2nd amendment itself, you will not be able to turn every gun that is currently owned legally into contraband, because it’s sale was completed prior to any new treaty being ratified. The second reason is that the 2nd amendment still trumps any treaty that the United States may enter (treaties do become “the supreme law of the land”, but cannot negate an existing constitutional right or power. See Reid v. Covert, 1957). In order to confiscate legally purchased weapons from U.S. citizens, the supreme court would have to change it’s interpretation of the 2nd amendment, or a new constitutional amendment that replaced the 2nd amendment would have to be passed. Given the recent Supreme Court case of McDonald v. Chicago, it seems unlikely that the Supreme court is going to soften the rights granted by the 2nd amendment anytime soon and there’s no way anyone is suggesting a firearm banning amendment anytime soon.

Conservatives, don’t believe everything that you read. Is the U.N. coming to take your guns? Sure. And I have a magic crystal that will remove heavy metals from your colon if you stare at it and think of Ronald Reagan. Stupid hippies.

*Another thing about hippies-for being so anti pharmaceuticals, they sure do like to pop adderall, Valium and vicodin. I’m sure they have a good reason for it.
**Despite the maddening disconnection from science, hippies are a lot more fun to hang out with the gun-obsessed wackos. The best people to hang with of course, are gun obsessed hippie wackos. Paging Doctor Gonzo.

Fighting Your Way from the Bed, Back to the Closet

Jvally — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 18:23:20 +0000

Mike Piccione, the current editor of Guns& Patriots had this to say in a recent email:

“My bedside combo is a Taurus PT 101 in .40 S & W and a Pelican LAPD light or a SureFire C2. When it comes to bedside firepower I like a .40 or .357 or more. As my colleague W. Thomas Smith Jr. puts it, ‘My bedside wep is a FNP .45, and I can fight my way from the bed to my closet where I can grab my 870 pump loaded with buckshot.’”

I love a unique turn of phrase, and “bedside firepower” is a new favorite. I am also certain, that it is the title of a gay porn feature, which loads the whole “…fight my way from the bed to my closet where I can grab my 870 pump…” with an all new meaning. Come one. Sure, it’s Freud 101, but you know it’s kinda funny.

More Glenn Beck Stupidity

Jvally — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 20:36:22 +0000

This Time blog discusses a recent airing of the Glenn Beck program where Beck attempts to claim that Jesus hates victims and that the Jews killed him.

“If Jesus was a victim he would have come back from the dead and made the Jews pay for what they did.”

Uh, yeah. OK. So to be clear, Beck is now trying to usurp both the mantel of Martin Luther King Jr. AND Paul the Apostle. I don’t think this can end very well…

Nullifying Obama

Jvally — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 17:29:09 +0000

This was the intro to the most recent Guns & Patriots newsletter:

“Hey Gunners,

Does our power to control the federal government rest in our ability to control individual states? Yes.

How?

Through a process called nullification. Let’s assume that the federal government does not have a monopoly on what is considered Constitutional. The states have an obligation to ignore a law if the federal law is considered unconstitutional by the state.

This isn’t my idea. I’m reading NULLIFICATION: How to Resist Federal Tyranny in the 21st Century. I just started the book and was fortunate enough to get an article for Guns & Patriots from the author, Thomas E. Woods, Jr.

Can we band together to put enough pressure on our states to ignore this tyrannical federal nightmare? Yes.

How?

Read the article on nullification and let’s continue the discussion on Facebook. You are welcome to link to it, pass it around or send it to your friends.”

I would like to know, exactly what the “Tyrannical deferral nightmare” is, and if it existed between 2000 and 2008.

In any case, It all gets better once we get to the actual article from Mr. Thomas Woods Jr. He begins thus:

“Every couple of years the same drearily predictable charade repeats itself. This time we’re really going to limit government! Or so they tell us. We on the Right then dutifully compose our letters to the editor, attend rallies, and vote for candidates without whom, we are breathlessly assured, we shall all revert instantly to barbarism. And no matter who wins, the federal government grows and grows. The Right gets a bunch of pretty speeches, and the Left gets the victories.”

What a persecutory complex these people have! It hardly needs to be pointed out that it was only two years ago that Conservatives made a bunch of noise and that the left won a major election victory. Since then, it has really seemed like Obama has been making pretty speeches while conservatives win public relations victory after public relations victory simply by refusing to legislate at all. Much like Evangelical Christians, the right seems to work only so long as they perceive themselves as a small minority beset on all sides by liberal, homosexual, ammunition banning zombies. It doesn’t really matter if they’re in power or not. Remember, prior to 2008, it was the left that had eight years of noise making while the Bush administration racked up victory after victory. A lot of those victories, I might add, were acts that made a joke of the Constitution that Woods and other conservatives claim to love so dearly. Suspension of Habeaus Corpus, attempts to establish national religious preferences, violations of treaties that have the same force of law as the Constitution, where were Woods and the Conservative underground while all that was going on? Oh yes, dancing like pagan pigmy warriors around the fire that immolated our nation’s founding documents.

Actually, it’s a bit unfair to crap only on the heads of conservative wingnuts when it comes to selective reading of the Constitution. It really is a bipartisan disease. Conservatives tend to see the Constitution as consisting only of the 2nd amendment, and liberals everything but the 2nd amendment. It would be refreshing, just for once, to see some blowhard yacking poetic about the Constitution who actually believed in all the rights enumerated therein. Conservatives, that means absolute freedom of speech, freedom of (and by extension, from, religion), and no seeking clever ways to cheat those you don’t like out of their supposedly “inalienable” rights. Liberals, citizens get to own guns. Deal with it. Learn to love it. Here is a rather cogent argument to that end over at the daily Kos. It’s entitled, Why Liberals Should Love the Second Amendment. Read it now.

In any case, it’s not exactly clear what Woods thinks the states should nullify…the new health care law? How exactly are you going to make a Constitutional argument against the new health care law, but not against Medicare? Raising taxes on the most wealthy Americans back to the levels they paid in the Reagan years? Obama’s Presidency itself? Ahhhh, there we go. You see Conservatives, your utter distaste for this president is so plain to see that it’s obvious even when you keep your mouths shut about. I’m sorry there’s a black liberal in office right now, but you know what? He won. Legitimately. You want to get rid of him? Float a decent candidate in 2012. That’s how democracy works.

A parting thought: Will Woods and his band of nullifying conservatives have a hissy fit when California, Oregon, New Mexico and a few others band together to nullify Federal Marijuana laws? Or is it only fair when it’s used to protect guns?

Patriotism and the White Trash Trifecta

Jvally — Fri, 09 Jul 2010 17:21:10 +0000

What is it with conservatives and their childish addiction to vulgur patriotic displays? It’s not enough for these people, that you simply be, you have to scream and shout it to the world, non-stop. You have to wear flare. Anyone who doesn’t is a disgrace to America. Hell, some folks at Foxnews.com have their panties all in a bunch because Wonder Woman (that’s right, the comic book character with the invisible lasso), has a new costume that doesn’t include American flag short-shorts.

Conservatives! You’re supposed to be the family values people! You can’t tell me you would let your daughter out of the house looking like the country’s most patriotic kinderwhore. I would think you’d appreciate the modesty of the new look…

A comic book hero that doesn’t have a flag riding up their butt-crack is betraying America. Presidential Candidates that don’t wear a flag pin are foreign sleeper agents out to destroy America. People that like soccer are communists…Horseshit. This is like saying that any man who doesn’t walk around town with a massive erection poking through his pants (think Ron Burgundy in Anchor Man) is a disgrace to men everywhere and must certainly be impotent. Personally, I would find a society of constantly displayed boners to be a society filled with an unnecessary number of pricks.

And really, isn’t this omnipresent, self-congratulatory, theater of patriotism just a sophisticated phallic display? Jacked up trucks, American flag decals/flag g-strings (wet with sweat and suntan lotion), and a bunch of pricks drinking bland, girly beer: the unholy white trash trifecta that is the “real America.” God bless it.

Gun People

Jvally — Wed, 07 Jul 2010 21:55:03 +0000

Today, I thought I might quote the beginning of a “Guns and Patriots” newsletter. It’s worth it.

“Hey Gunners,

The “Big Five Guns” article last week was huge! Thanks for all the comments. Long live the 30-06, 12 Gauge and .45. The choices are trending; three long guns, one shotgun and one handgun, if you were limited to five guns, that is. Of course five guns are more of a monthly acquisition rather than a limit, but thanks for joining the discussion and leaving your comments. I want to tally up the results and get them to you. Alex, our conservative intern from the University of California, Berkeley, will probably get that task.”

Hey, I believe in the 2nd amendment and I like Hunter S. Thompson as much as the next Journalism Junky/Groupie, but I think a five gun a month habit is bordering on pathological. I mean, how many of those can you shoot at once? Even if the Black Helicopters are surrounding your corrugated metal mountain shack to confiscate your Bible (or maybe your “hella” guns), you can only fire two, maybethree guns at once. A million firearms to one man does not an army make.

Tangentially, why is it that guys in Arkansas can own 150 different guns of ridiculous caliber, but anytime any popular musician gets caught with a dinky pistol, they go to jail on weapons charges (I’m looking at you David Crosby)?

Even more Tangentially, you ever notice how hippies and Libertarian gun-nuts have the exact same views about a world-wide conspiracy that actually controls everything? It’s just that hippies think it’s Conservative-Corporate-Christian-Nazis that are in charge and conservatives think it’s Liberal-Homosexual-Nazi-Jews. They even start talking about it in the same way, usually when you talk about voting. You know, in a casual fashion.

You: “Oh yeah, that reminds me, I need to register to vote since I moved last month.”

Lefty/Righty: “I don’t vote anymore man. I mean, come on, you don’t think THEY’LL let us change anything do you? THEY’VE got it all figured out man! Have you ever seen ________ book about the Kennedy Assassination/The Rothchilds!?”

Add more “mans” for a leftist and more Bible references for conservatives. Personally, I think the Black Helicopters are manned by Neo-conservative, oil-magnate, Jewish trust-fund lesbian, Mafia, Aliens who really want there to be a super-highway through tornado alley. It will make it easier for them to steel the gold, guns and bibles of those who live in trailer parks in, wait for it, tornado alley.

Finally, a little less of a tangent. I am willing to bet that Alex, the UCB intern is having a hard time getting laid. The college Republicans table on Sproul Plaza gets less traffic than the LaRouchies (who with their cult-like blathering, probably do alright in teh orgasm stakes). Don’t feel too guilty about those shower masturbation sessions where you chant Rush’s name buddy, you gotta do what you gotta do to get through. Go Bears.

Tangents over. Back to the Gun People.

“A governor’s office from a border state that intends to enforce immigration laws called last week to discuss Jenn Kendall’s article “Illegal Immigrants are Career Criminals,” and that is big news. It seems G & P has gotten the attention of our lawmakers. There are about 300,000 reading G & P and 21,000 of us on Facebook. No dues, no forms — just We the People — so pass it on to your friends and get on board this grassroots movement.”

I critiqued this “Career Criminals” article just the other day.

“Sunday night the fireworks were great, the beer was cold and the char on the burgers was just right. The parade had American flags flying, fire trucks and marching bands. Thanks, Founding Fathers for kicking some King George III arse all those years ago.

Never take your freedom for granted, or it will be taken from you.

Something tells me that if the Founding Father’s could watch this guy sucking down his girly Budweiser and suck down some greasy, hormone strewn beef product, that they would be appalled. There is something about the gun crowd that attracts and energizes the white trash qualities latent in Americans.

“Thanks, Founding Fathers for kicking some King George III arse all those years ago.” Really? I guess so.